Top 13 of '13

Every year, like sparkly, enormous, Times Square-clockwork, horror fans, freaks, and scholars spend the last week of December polishing their "best of" and "worst of" lists for the genre. Most of these lists will find the author lamenting about how thin the year was or how mainstream horror has gone to the dogs (werewolves?). It's easy to see how one might take to that field of thought given the noticeable lack of blockbuster horror films this year. Of course, on the flip side, if you've got a year that's horror heavy-handed, with October packed to the brim with thrills and chills, then you'll have fans taking to the message boards to berate all the remakes and sequels and copycat films cluttering up the multiplexes. The close proximity of all the Saw (2004), Paranormal Activity (2007), and Final Destination (2000) films is probably to blame for this. 

Funny you should say that, Chucky...

In reality, this was an above-average year for horror. Some major releases made splashes, and some others turned out to be garbage, but it seemed to be the parade of successful independent films that took the calendar year and sliced it up real nice. If you're finding that you missed some really solid horror this year, or if you need that reminder to check out something you made a mental note to see last July, hopefully this post will prompt you to seek out one of the films below. Or save you the trouble of watching a complete stinker and/or utter disappointment--because for every stand-out, there's at least two films that fail to live up to their height and crash and burn in a blaze of bloody glory. 

I'm sure that several of these films will get greater examinations in the future, probably once I finally knock off the Horror History series (I mean, dammit, why did the 1950's have to be so influential and so boring at the same time?), so I'll try to keep things streamlined, and I won't give all that much attention to the clunkers because, honestly, I'm hoping they will all die with the rest of the year at the stroke of midnight tonight.

Or at least get thrown into the basement with her…

And on that note, let's get started with Splatter Chatter's 13 Best Horror Films of 2013, kicking it off with 

13. Stoker

This film was the definition of "under the radar" in 2013. Even some of the most hardcore genre fans unknowingly skipped by this one as a result of a very, very, very limited theatrical run and one of the worst marketing campaigns since the dawn of ever. I could count the number of previews I saw for this film on one hand, and that's a shame because this psychologically driven film about a girl, India (Mia Wasikowska) and her mother (Nicole Kidman) who became drawn into an unsettling mind game with India's uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode)--recently moved in after India's father's death in a car accident--will keep (and leave) you guessing. This is a film that's all about the escalation of suspense, so fans of gore, blood, and undead warfare may not gravitate towards this one, though you may be left feeling disgusted once the credits roll. Before that moment though, your skin will prickle and your stomach will rumble that something is not just not right…and we should always listen to our gut.

12. Curse of Chucky

Alright, yes, it's a bit of a head-scratcher as to why the sixth film in a franchise about a murderous doll should make this list, but the fact that this movie introduced us to a darker, and dare I say it, more menacing version of Chucky, made it one of the genre hits of the year. This is a film that does away with the cheesy one-liners that made the first five films in the series great in their own right. Instead, the emphasis lies on the nature of fear and claustrophobia. There's even a solid acting performance or two. It came as quite the surprise, which is probably why it ranks over Stoker, which I expected to be good, and I wish it had received more attention than it did…and I don't even like the series!

11. Curandero: Dawn of the Demon

Another sleep night (though perhaps not so south of the border; I'll have to check on that) this Mexican demonic horror film is multi-faceted and complex. It does some great work in examining horror's relationship to politics and cultural/societal norms for our neighbors to the south. Billed as "Mexico's Answer to The Exorcist," Curandero is also quite the gore-fest, and at one point seedy drug lords are involved in the plot. Which never ends well. It's an interesting film, especially for U.S. viewers, and as with all good horror (and film in general) it packs in different layers of enjoyment for everyone. 

10. Jug Face

Every time I think of this movie, I think of how ridiculously uncomfortable the first five minutes made me feel. Read: sibling incest. And not the saucy (but still weirded out) kind you'd watch on The Borgias (2011-2013) or Game of Thrones (2011-present). And that's just the beginning. This indie production that could also sports a mother examining her full-grown daughter's nether regions and a slew of human sacrifice. This film is inspired, but it's also totally insane. The plot can get somewhat thin and it doesn't make the most sense all the time, but oddly enough it doesn't need to, and will keep you fully invested the whole time. You won't be able to take your eyes off the screen, though at times you'll wish that you could.

Don't they make a cute couple?

9. The Seasoning House

Revenge, cold, cruel, and bloody, dominates this British horror film set in a war-torn and ravaged unnamed country in Eastern Europe. What helps to make the film brilliant is that the retribution that is being delivered happens almost by accident or divine providence, though looking for God is something the protagonist, a girl abducted by militia soldiers and forced to work various chores in a brothel staffed with unwilling and kidnapped girls, does not have time for. Very well done horror cinema.

8. Insidious: Chapter 2

When this sequel was originally announced, fans had some concern. James Wan, who shotgunned to prominence in the horror genre with his work on the Saw franchise, Dead Silence (2007), and the first Insidious (2011), was releasing two films within months of each other, and that made people nervous that he had failed to deliver on at least one of them. The bets were placed on this movie, probably because of the WAY too many impacting shots in the trailers, but this follow-up to the haunted-boy troubles of the Lambert family was still pretty damn creepy at parts. Not as strong as the first, as sequels tend to be, but not as bad as most are inclined to think.

7. All Hallows' Eve

This straight-to-DVD anthology film garnered high hopes in the horror community, and delivered on a great many of those hopes. A warp-around with three individual horror vignettes sprinkled throughout, this movie may have been the birth of the next great horror film villain, Art the Clown, who features in each of the four stories. I'll admit that you may not find this ranked as high on other lists, given my personal, biased fear of white-faced clowns, but this film covers gore, jump scares, tension-building, and packs a serious punch of lingering, sinister menace. The middle segment is a bit weak, but I don't think that will stop it from becoming essential Halloween viewing for most horror fans now, so expect a more thorough review in October 2014.

So much NOPE.

6. Evil Dead

There are so many things that could have gone wrong with this re-imagining of Sam Raimi's  The Evil Dead (1981)--and some of them did--that it was bound to disappoint at least a few loyal and passionate fans of the original staple to the horror genre. I had my doubts, and did not see it for quite some time, but I'll admit that it came out about as good as it possibly could have. It's ultra-violent and unforgiving and has some good practical effects in the spirit of the classic it came from, as well as some of those iconic Raimi shots that toyed with by director Fede Alvarez. The story was spun just enough, which was smart, and allowed the film to stand on its own.

5. The Conjuring

While the basis of James Wan's other big-budget horror film of the year as a true story is somewhat murky, the dramatization is exceptionally creepy through a solid 80% of the film. The story twists from a straight-forward slow burn haunting into a full-on exorcism battle that erupts after all hell breaks loose. It's a supremely eerie film that is handled deafly by Wan, who has an intricate understanding of direction. The heavy-handed promotion led some critics to believe it wasn't well-crafted, but it is, rarely faltering through the 112 minute runtime.

4. You're Next

In the current state of the horror film, it's difficult to pull off a legitimately disconcerting home invasion story, and quite easy to write off the ones that try. It's a sub-genre of horror that has never quite managed to refresh its formula, and the luster has faded. And yet, here was a powerful and lovable sparkle. Director Adam Wingard, who has a true fan's passion for filmmaking, crafted this film that is equal parts thrills and chills, homage and re-invention, titillating and terrifying. Mired in post-production for close to two years, this film takes genre expectation on a roller coaster ride in an examination of horror, film, and safety. It's clever, playing in the league of other great home invasion films like Funny Games (1997), Them (2006), and The Strangers (2008). And that pig mask is more than capable of inducing a nightmare or two…

Someone call animal control…

3. American Mary

Twin sisters Jen and Sylvia Soska are fast carving an unforgettable niche for themselves in the world of horror, first coming to prominence with Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009) and following up with American Mary, a technically refined, highly jarring picture that takes an artistic approach to some of the most uncomfortable gore and body modification ever filmed. This sleeper hit follows Mary, played wonderfully by Katharine Isabelle, a med student whose quest for vengeance ends up making her a major player in the medical underworld, a place where strippers and sexual fetishists become her associates. As her life snowballs out of control, a feat steadily handled by the Soskas, the audience is drawn into Mary's headspace and begins to wonder, along with her, how simple revenge ever went this far.

2. The Battery

The zombie film has been done, and re-done, and then done twice more after that, to death (pun intended). How then does a filmmaker take a post-apocalytpic story and turn it into something unorthodox, fresh, and deeply moving? Jeremy Gardner found a way on a $6,000 budget, and though that leaves the film as being remarkably bland, it also makes the story that much more effective and lovable. The endearing personalities of the characters make the character examination rich and fulfilling, much like the use of the scenery. The struggle portrayed feels very real, and it's unfortunate that no one has seen this movie, because once you do you'll want to hit "play" over and over and over again. You can feel the thought, heart, and determination that went into this film, and hopefully that will help spread it to more viewers in the coming year.

1. Maniac

This genius remake, expertly shot and poignantly acted, achieves a rare feat in the world of cinema, horror or otherwise, in that it is better than the original source, the 1980 film by William Lustig. This re-imagining follows Frank Zito, played with haunting and heartfelt depth by Elijah Wood, an uber-quirky and murderous psychopath who yearns and hunts for a human connection in a world that has cast him and his mannequin store aside. The graphic chaos and unraveling of his fatal endeavors after he meets beautiful photographer Rita is both gut-wrenching and wonderful to behold. The atmosphere alone is enough to leave you feeling heavy with gloom, and yet director Franck Khalfoun is still able to build palpable tension, bringing you to the very edge of darkness, before that thumping final push.

He's come a long way from the Shire…

With that I conclude the list; thirteen excellent horror films I am happy to vouch for any day. I'd also like to give honorable mention to a few other gems from 2013, namely Rob Zombie's The Lords of Salem and Jim Mickle's We Are What We Are. There was also a surprisingly good number of horror-comedies to come our way this year, including Warm Bodies, John Dies at the End, Sightseers, and Ghost Team One. 

Hopefully there is enough fodder here to spur you on into the next year, which is going to see some really interesting genre films (Big Bad Wolves and The Banchee Chapter are two I'm looking forward to) and some (likely) flops as per usual, i.e. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, The Purge 2, I, Frankenstein, and Paranormal Activity 5. Yep, that's right. We're getting not one, but TWO more Paranormal Activity films next year. Therefore my resolution is to not spend money on those films but to somehow see them anyway… 

Hey, we should all challenge ourselves in the coming year, right? Right. 

Happy New Year, folks.