Motel Hell

The distinctive taste of farmer Vincent Smith's is renowned in the small rural community in which he runs a local motel with his sister, Ida. People come from far and wide to sample his deliciously unique meat treats. But the real question is why no one is staying in the motel, despite the "No Vacancy" sign constantly being lit. And the REALLY real question is why on earth did this movie come into existence? Because even though this movie has a weirdly special place in my family's Thanksgiving festivities, the super secret Smith meat treat isn't turkey, it's people. Welcome to Motel Hell (1980). 

Motel Hell (U.S.A.)

Released: October 18, 1980

Director: Kevin Connor

Screenplay: Robert & Steven-Charles Jaffe

Tagline: "Checking in is easy…checking out is hell"

Cast:

Rory Calhoun as Vincent Smith

Nancy Parsons as Ida Smith

Paul Linke as Sheriff Bruce Smith

Nina Axelrod as Terry

Wolfman Jack as Reverend Billy

It's hard not to love the campy awfulness of this movie. At its dirty, bizarre core, Motel Hell is a fun, and surprisingly graphic at points, horror-comedy; a parody of films like Psycho (1960), The Last House on the Left (1972), and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974). It downplays shock tactics and special effects to play up the more satirical aspect of the film and keep the viewer entertained, which in this case usually means laughing your ass off at the ridiculousness of the situation.

In fact, the variety of funny and oddly charming sequences that populate this messy and mashed up film range from heckling televangelists to hilarious send-ups of lives of swingers. Viewers will be treated to a chainsaw duel (potential influence for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)? We'll never know) a garden of human heads preparing to be harvested for dinner, cannibalism (go figure), and a particularly stomach churning conversation of smoking dogs. This movie is, without a doubt, one of the most goofy and tacky horror films of its era, and yet it has a hint of the same intelligence paired with gruesome witty horror-comedy that is to be found in Re-Animator (1985) and Evil Dead 2 (1987). It's not as effective or enjoyable as those two films, and can drag a little near the end, but it's there nonetheless.

Rory Calhoun undoubtedly steals this shlock show with his portrayal of the deranged and creepily pleasant Vincent Smith. The campy yet fairly smooth script provides for an appealing personality for Vincent, though the viewer still spends most of the movie laughing at his God-fearing monologues he slips into when he discusses the creative and artistic ways in which he stray humans to mix in with his meat. That's what the film is about, if you haven't caught on to that, and there's not much more to the plot other than a stranded biker chick who eventually pieces together the insanity with the naive sheriff Bruce, excluded from the family side-business his brother and sister are running.

Come one, who WOULDN'T want to stay with these fine folks?

Calhoun is accompanied by Nancy Parsons in the role of his overweight and dim-witted sister Ida, who comes off, in a strange and unaccounted for way, of being a female, vaguely more intelligent version of Texas Chain Saw Massacre's Leatherface. Given the subpar material these two had to work with, as well as Nina Axelrod in the role of stranded hotel guest and eventual heroine Terry, their performances weren't all that bad, if still poor, but that somehow makes the whole spectacle more humorous. 

Director Kevin Connor has a lot of fun sliding in references to some of the horror hall-of-famers, including a captivating comedic illustration of Night of the Living Dead (1968) and Zombie Holocaust (1979). His take on horror-comedy is more macabre-weird, and he never really spends much time trying to bring the story to life (perhaps because it's buried neck deep in the ground with vocal chords ripped out and throats stitched up, as Vincent and Ida's victims are?). 

Motel Hell has not aged well, looking more like a movie meant to be viewed on a drive-in screen rather than a television screen, but my family managed to get past that one year on Thanksgiving when my father, the King of the B-Movie, busted out his copy of the film to share with the rest of the Ranallos and now, each year, if it's not viewed, it's referenced in fondness. Hey, at least we're all together, rather than running out for Black Friday shopping. Which I will always find more ridiculous than this movie. Motel Hell, for all its faults, became what the filmmakers intended it to be, a cheesy fun-fest for horror and non-horror fans alike. 

Dig in, folks. There's plenty more where that came from

Motel Hell (1980)

5-Totally Terrifying

4-Crazy Creepy

3-Fairly Frightening

2-Slightly Scary

1-Hardly Horror